Sunday, June 25, 2006

THE MOST STUPID PHRASES IN THE AMERICAN VERNACULAR

OK...The time has come for me to spout on about some of the most stupid phrases people use these days in their speech to pretend they are saying something meaningful which they can easily conveniently duck out of but still sound good and come off as a being "kinder and gentler" human being. In short, all of these phrases mean really nothing, but sound good as they don't require true commitment on the part of the speaker.

Are my views cynical? The answer is a loud "yes" -- but it is all true.


1. "LET'S DO LUNCH SOMETIME"

In my 25 years of active life (out of 43 -- or 185 in dog years) I have NEVER had anyone who said this to me ever follow through with this statement, and when you followup with them they are nowhere to be found, supposedly never got your message, or are just leaving on a business trip to Antartica where their dying aunt next door neighbor lives.

2. "I FEEL YOUR PAIN"

President Clinton made this one famous...sounds good...but did he say this when he romped (schtupped) with Monica Lewinsky in the White House with his warm cigar? He also made famous "I didn't inhale" but he still smoked marijuana. This is what Pres. Clinton will be remembered for in 50 years.

3. "I SUPPORT YOU"

It sounds like someone is ready to do a personal blood letting on your behalf when you're going through hard times, but does not need commitment. Most conveniently the speaker can say this and disappear after he or she has left the impression that "they care."

4. "IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, DON'T HESITATE TO ASK."

After going through a devastating personal tragedy recently, I heard this so many times that I could have slapped the utterer of the phrase silly. Everytime that I really needed something, they always had a "reason" that they couldn't fulfill your need at the moment. With one bright exception, the worst offenders were acquaintances two or more time zones away.

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