With the first round of the presidential primary now just something just so much gristle for the political commentators to continuously chew on until the next round, here are my impressions of the candidates.

BARACK OBAMA
He loves to speak in platitudes with words that really sound good. But the thing is that he has said nothing that hasn't been said before in a political campaign. He is trying to have himself framed as kind of a John F. Kennedy for the 21st century, but should he be elected, will be as disastrous as Jimmy Carter -- who has shown his true colors as a senile and anti-semitic individual. Obama talking about "change" is cute and stirs up the crowds, but what has he done so phenomenal? What legislation has he put forth to the betterment of our country?

HILLARY CLINTON
She is the best candidate, but like many Americans, I'm concerned about the Clinton dynasty being maintained just as some are concerned about the Bush dynasties.

MIKE HUCKABEE
Do we really want a politician whose name evokes images of some Civil War military general? He has some good ideas, but the trick is to be bring them into fruition.

MIT ROMNEY
I don't trust him. He comes off as a used car sales. I don't give a damn if he is a Mormon or not. Mormons are good people who have learned how to be self-sufficient.

JOHN McCAIN
He has served his country honorably and is liberal enough, yet conservative enough.

RUDY GUILIANI
(see John McCain)

RON PAUL
Weirdo who is very dangerous with his isolationist political views.