I was on online chat with a friend when he told me that he hated split pea soup...to which I said....



IVARS
You racist! You hate split peas! Call the Split Pea Anti Defamation League!

FRIEND OF IVARS
Now, now, what have poor innocent peas done to you that you'd want to split them??? And think of all those poor LeSeur baby peas that would become orphans! They could go down the path of ruination and do anti-social behaviors like pea peeing in public!